Log in

No account? Create an account
Always in my way, just get away from me... [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | MySpace ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Test post [10 Mar 2011|04:40pm]

I wrote this from my iPod... I think it worked...

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

I'm gonna take you down

The decision's been made.. [24 Jan 2004|09:12pm]
[ mood | mischievous ]

Yeah I decided from this point on, my journal's friends only and I'm takin some names off my friend list. If i took u off and u still wanna be on the list, lemme know and i'll put ur ass back on. If u wanna read it and u cant already, then comment to lemme know u wanna be added, or get a LJ because the journal you use now is gay.

BTW, if u plan to commit suicide, make sure you land on a car.. might as well go out with a bang!

67 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

[24 Jan 2004|07:46pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Well.. earlier i felt really shitty.. but after talkin to Jen n Kristi and Timmy, things got a little bit better as i went off to band practice.. though afterwards, once i got in the car to go home i just basically had a total relapse. I guess maybe i'll soon get over it.. i dunno... we'll see..

For now I jus wanna thank everyone who lemme know they give a shit about me.. you guys are the best.

thats it for now.
I'm Out.

I'm gonna take you down

[24 Jan 2004|08:48am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Last night I went to the backdoor open mic night. I was pretty good, and I was having fun for a lil' while, but somewhere in there I strarted feelin kinda unhappy and out of place and like i wanted to leave. The music was fine, there were lots of people i knew there, and i few that jus knew me, but i just felt like i didnt belong. I seem to do that alot now when I'm at shows or sumthin in Nyack. I feel like I'm just be tolerated and not really accepted. The only thing that kept me smiling for the most part was seeing jen.. though she wasn't feelin too well either.

When I got home, i just felt really shitty. I was tired, but not sleepy.. so i just changed the strings on all my guitars and sat n listened to my Stereo.. I'm starting to get the feeling I don't really wanna be "here" anymore... I dunno what to do. I thought i was making progress with myself, trying to think positive about myself and my future.. but now i don't know what to think. I dont want to do anything today, i wanna just sleep and not wake up. But thanx to band practice i cant. To think something that seemed like such an amazing idea when i first suggested it to Timmy a while back could turn into one of my biggest burdens.. I dunno.. maybe I'll say I'm sick.. no i can't do that.. whatever, i'll just go... I'ma go get ready to leave.

I'm Out.

10 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

HOORRAY!! [23 Jan 2004|04:09pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

I got my cable back! I thought i was gonna die.. I was actually gettin used to just watching the preview channel and i've gotten a little better with Photoshop for lack of better things to do on the computer.

Today is timmy's Birthday, So happy birfday timberly! (If u seem'em on the streets, beat'em down!.. for now, just leave a comment sayin happy birthday lol)

I finished my mid-terms today.. probably failed them all so i guess my summer's gonna be fucked cuz i'll be in summer school.. but then again i can always just get left back.. whatever.. school sux.

I have all of next week off.. i dunno what ima do during all that time.. maybe work on all the side projects i have.. like making a sufficiant STF logo for my dad's cards, and whatever else i havta go get done.

I wanna see Jenni! I'ma try to get her to come over on saturday after band practice. I hope I can.

Well I'm at a loss of words right now cuz i dunno what to write. So for now once again,

I'm Out.

I'm gonna take you down

[20 Jan 2004|05:28pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Theres just no rest for me is there...

School then crew(mistake that was), then i WAS planning to go to joe's to get my tape recorder so i could record the new music for Mike, but my mom fucked that up cuz apperently the roads are a mess.. though i hardly see a mess out there.. on the roads at leasts.. then i have to go to the Backdoor Meeting to see about gettin a show there.. i thought i sumthin else to do.. but now im all fucked up from thinkin about it all and can't remember...ugh.

Poor Jen's having a bad day today too.. my poor baby :-(

Then on top of that, Noelle was all outta whack today.. she wouldnt really talk to me, so i just left her alone. Today wasnt a good day for me to go walk behind her askin her what was wrong. I think me n her can both agree on that one... fuck i dont remember what else i had to do. FUCK!

Whatever.. if it was sumthin important, i'll realize it soon enough.. I know i still havta get to joe's somehow... hmm

I havta call Christina at somepoint tonight too.. she's been havin a rough few days or whatever too.. Oy.. i got to have a good day monday and now its seekin repayment for a missed day of misery now... dammit. I guess it's after everyone else too.. boy O boy.. whatever.. ima go call my dad and let him know about the time change for the backdoor meeting...

I'm Out.

5 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

[19 Jan 2004|08:51am]
[ mood | awake ]

Today's gonna be a good day - JENNI'S COMIN OVER! I Can't wait to see her again. She's the best!

I'm soo tired from last night at Jen's and from this weekend all together.. its been nothin but running around all the time. I missed Drivr's Ed yesturday cuz i was at Jen's..the one lesson i miss ends up being my last one.. fuck.. i havta talk to Mr.Vann and see if I can make it up or something. If i havta do it all over again, i'ma be pissed.

I need a job... being unemployed sucks like a Russian Whore.

I don't wanna go back to skool tommorow.. that'll just make midterms even closer to now.. I wish i could just skip them.. I know ima fail at everything, so why make me take a test to tell me what I already know!? Ugh.

I'ma go Clean up some for when Jenni gets here.. if she knows what's good for her, she'll leave her digital camera home! :-p

I'm Out.

Btw.. for those that are thinkin what a cool pic of miles in the background, no sorry thats not me.. i wish it was.. thats the amazing Vernon Reid.. one day i'll be considered "good".. not as good as him, but at least "good".

2 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

Much Like Sufficating [18 Jan 2004|07:23pm]
[ mood | amused ]

YAY! I got to see jenni today :-)... that always makes the day better, and today it overcompensated for the cancelled Olive's show. I went to her house today and she made me taco soup, it was hella good. And then we had dinner there. I can always count on there being good food at her house. Maybe tomorrow she'll be able to come over and hang at MY house. We'll probably do the usual sittin around and watchin tv until my mom comes and drags her over to look at baby pictures of me :-/.. whatever, better than nothing.. So hopefully that'll be the agenda for tomorrow. Well ima go do sumthin.

I'm Out.

I'm gonna take you down

Our Hopes and Dreams are Out there Somewhere... [18 Jan 2004|01:01pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

Snow Sux.

I'm gonna take you down

Everyone's Doin it... [17 Jan 2004|05:22pm]
[ mood | bored ]

[ i stole this from Jenni ]

[spell your first name backwards] seliM
[age] 17
[where do you live] Spring Valley, NY
[four words that sum you up] shut the fuck up
[wallet] leather?
[hairbrush] Nah.. I gave up on the whole brushin my hair thing along time ago.
[jewelry worn daily] None.
[pillow cover] 1 blue and 1 black.. they remind me of jen
[coffee cup] i have a mug.. but i hardly ever use it, usually when i have coffee its from 7-11
[shoes] ummm, converse all stars... Etnies...Adios...88 i guess they're called.. i dunno.
[cologne/perfume] umm.. AXE and the cologne that Katrina got me last year.. they all smell the same.
[piercings] none.. my mom scared me out of it.
[clothes youre wearing now] Red T-shirt, Jeans, and Black Socks


[wishing] I could get the few things i want from life - Successful future, and a loving Wife n Family when im older.
[after this] Poughkeepsie
[talking to] Jenni :-)
[eating] nothing
[fetishes] none
[some of your fav. movies] Momento, Waynes World 1+2, Ghost World, American Pie 1+2, American Wedding (Jenni), The Sum Of All Fears, Full Metal Jacket, Bowling For Columbine.
[something youre looking forward to in the upcomin months] Summer, Senior license, Summer, successful music career, summer, seeing Jenni
[last thing you ate] mac + cheese that made me like throw up
[something youre hella afraid of] Being a failure, Sudden Vertical Drops.. whatever else.
[if you could have any animals as pets what would they be] i want a Paranah
[three cities you wouldn't mind relocating to] NYC, Los Angelos, Hawaii
[some of your fav. foods] i don't really know
[something you wish you could understand better] life...people.
[miss someone you haven't seen in a long time] yeah a lot of people

DO YOU...:

[like candles] yeah
[like incense] sure
[believe in love] completely
[believe in soulmates] completely
[believe in love at first sight] yes, definately
[believe in forgiveness] only to an extent
[want to get married] definately
[want to have kids] Octuplets!!
[believe that you know the person that youll marry at this point in time] o yes


[cried] nope
[bought something] some starbursts
[gotten sick] yep i get sick everyday.
[sang] during band practice
[eaten] yeah
[felt stupid] only when im awake
[wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't] yes
[met someone new] nope
[moved on] yes
[talked to an ex] yeah
[missed an ex] in some ways yeah.. then i think about it and i think NO
[talked to someone you have a crush on] yeah
[had a serious talk] nah not really
[missed someone] every day
[hugged someone] yep
[fought with your parents] who doesn't?
[dreamt about someone you can't be with] nope


[best girl friend(s)] Jenni, Kristi, Noelle, Christina, and Patricia
[best guy friend(s)] Tim, Joey, Mike
[boyfriend/girlfriend] yep :-)
[if none, current dating partner] nope
[hobbies] stayin alive
[pager/cell] neither
[are you the center of attention or wallflower] depends on where i am.
[car you drive] 1989 Oldsmobile Delta ("Ghetto-Mobile")
[would you rather be with friends or on a date] either one's fine
[job] unemployeed as of right now
[attend church] show me physcial evidence (pictures, or in person) of god, and i'll believe in it.
[like being around people] yes and no.


[have you known the longest] Timmy - 4th grade biatch
[do you argue with the most] probably Patricia
[do you always get along with people] Sure, unles they make the mistake of pissin me off.
[who is the most trustworthy] Anyone i consider my best friend at this point is trustworthy.
[who makes you laugh the most] Joe n timmy n mike
[who is the nicest girl(s)] Jenni, Noelle, Kristi, Christina, and Patricia
[who is the nicest guy(s)] Timmy, Joe, Mike
[who has the coolest parent(s)] me! (my dad newayz
[who has the coolest sibling(s)] i dunno
[who is the most blunt] Christina
[is the smartest]timmy n his dumb AP Classes


[who is your role model] nobody really
[pet peeves] ??
[ever liked someone you had no chance with] yeah.. but i guess it turns out i actualy did hve a chance with them ;-)
[ever lied to your best friend] no
[ever wanted to get revenge on someone b/c they hurt you] yeah, but i dont have the resources or ability to take out my vengence thoroughly
[cried over the opposite sex] yup
[have a certain "type" of person you go after] yeah, the kinda people that like me.
[rather be dumper or dumped] dumped im bad at hurting women
[rather have a relationship or "hook-up"] relationships.
[what is your fav. part of your physical appearance] none .
[what is your fav. part of your emotional being] i cant really have one when im emotionally unstable
[are you happy with yourself] absolutely not
[are you happy with your life] absolutely not
[if you could change one thing what would it be] the family im born into.

Okay, off to Poughkeepsie with me!

I'm Out.

2 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

[16 Jan 2004|02:41pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Today went pretty fast (thankfully).. though someone stole my Day-Planner thingy in school so I had to buy another one.. I hate buying stupid things i dont want but unfortunetly i need. Then in lunch today I felt today was a good day to pelt James and Mike with peices of my lunch. In a nutshell, James got blessed by my chicken pattie hehe. Then I bought tickets for me n my dad to go see NASH in Poughkeepsie tommorow - $20 more gone away.. then In weight trainning we played volleyball because it was hella cold in the weightroom. We played up to 25 and losing team had to do push ups. Lets just say my arms are nice n sore now thanx to that, but its cool cuz the other team cheated so we kicked their asses in the locker rooms. Now I just havta situate tonight with my dad about giving Noelle and Aymi rides tonight to the Backdoor. Then tommorow I havta go in for Midterm review @ School - SATURDAY MORNING! then almost immediately after that i havta get to band practice so maybe we can start some new songs. Then after that its off to poughkeepsie with me my dad and mike and mike lol. Then Sunday is the show at Olives w/ Suffage and Innate so maybe I'll end up at my Grandmas and just walk over there from her house... whatever. Then monday hopefully jen can come over be4 I go off to therapy. then Tuesday.. im back in skool sayin "damn, we had homework??" thats the usual order of things.. fuck it.

I wish Jenni could come tonight... Well, its okay, i'll probably see her on Sunday if not just monday.

Well I'ma go do sumthin.. maybeplay my guitar some, learn the songs i wrote lol.. im sucha mess..

I'm Out.

5 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

[15 Jan 2004|06:49pm]
[ mood | amused ]

lol this is too funny to wait to be posted til tommorow:... enjoi and listen to the message being told here!

I'm gonna take you down

[15 Jan 2004|05:40pm]

Ugh.. guitar matinence sux. A peice on the bridge of my Squier got stripped somehow and now the only thing keeping it in place is some teflon tape... fuck. whatever, i can still play the thing, fuck it.

The snow today left me with more time to sleep, and a lack of things to do today.. but i  guess it was okay. I cleaned off my car some today... not that it matters since im not driving it yet (if ever), and i jus sat in my room playing my guitars all day because my mom was being a "space nazi" and wouldnt lemme get over to the computer area. whatever, no one's online anyways.

I miss Jenni... I was lookin at the pix she put on her lj today - (SOOOO CUTE) I wish i coulda saw her today... or anyone for that matter ~sigh~ oh well.

Last night I went to band practice, and it went surprisingly well. The spirit that was temporarily lost in me is back I guess.. but im still skeptical on the whole thing. We have these good times- bad times things alot and im alittle tired of it. I dont know what I'ma do yet.

I'm gonna be so busy this weekend AGAIN.. friday, i havta go to the show at the backdoor.. it should be fun tho. Then saturday's practice and then after practice I was gonna go to Noelle's house cuz its been a while since i've gone there to hang out with her, But i can't cuz I'm going to Poughkeepsie to see N.A.S.H. with my dad n Mike and maybe Mike Whitmore too. Then sunday, I'm going to the show at Olive's with Jenni to see Suffage and Innate, (granted that my mom's not gonna gimme a hard time about it). Then Monday I was gonna try to make up for cancelling on Noelle for saturday, but alas, she's busy so I dunno what I'm gonna do monday.. maybe jus the traditional sitting on my ass all day infront of my stereo or my computer.

I hate when I get one of my screennames on AIM stolen. Fuck it, im just not gonna use MTSK8ER900 anymore. I've got like 8 more s/ns still so whoever that is, they can go fuck themselves.

Yeah.. thats it for now... I'ma go call Jen or sumthing..

I'm Out.

I'm gonna take you down

[15 Jan 2004|09:25am]
[ mood | lazy ]

I guess theres no school today being that i woke up on my own today and that was around 8. hmm

I'm gonna take you down

[14 Jan 2004|04:34pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Today's a little better than yesturday (thankfully). I had a long talk with Jenni on the fone last night, that helped a lot for me in my cooling promise, but then again just hearing her voice can keep down my temper. I Love That Girl

I have practice tonight (oooo boy) and the one good thing about yesturday was that i churned out a new song. I'm not sure what to call it yet.. maybe "Homicide 2" or something.. we'll see.

For now,

I'm Out.

that's dedicated to the people that find my lil' signature annoying. Ur Welcome.

6 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

[13 Jan 2004|09:05pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Okay i figured out how to get the backgrounds as pictures, so im not so mad anymore.. thats it for now

I'm Out.

6 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

[13 Jan 2004|07:36pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Sorry bout that "explosion" be4, my day's been shit.. but i've cooled down a little. So i guess i'll havta just shrug this off for now. I'm off to go continue playing my guitar.

I'm Out.

1 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

when will i learn to just not get up in the morning!? [13 Jan 2004|04:37pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Today sucked.

I hate my parents, i hate school, i hate my life, i hate everything in my life thats wrong.

Today was the day of no concentration. I kept thinkin about issues ive been dealing with lately with jen about her parents. Its all I had on my mind today and so i got virtually nothing done.

As if my "day of no concentration" wasnt enough for me to be left in a bad mood, i come home to my mom n dad yellin at me because a note from school came home today saying that I'm failing math. NO SHIT, i was failing when i first started the class, wtf do they expect from me!? I suck at math. It also said I'm missing a test in Child Psyc. - LIKE I KNEW! Mrs. Vogel tells me about everything i need to know. When she never mentioned this test to me, i thought nothing of it, i didnt even know i was missing a test. Whatever. They were bitchin cuz i dropped out of Music for the rest of this semester, my mom sez i need the credit, meanwhile, I already have my art AND my music credits. So taking the class now doesnt make a difference. But she doesnt wanna take my word for it, and not the school either. But what would that do for me, they're just like "Oh, well, u should take the class, dont you like music?" FUCK MUSIC and FUCK ART, they're just jobs to me now, i'm no longer having fun with them! My mom decided today that i DONT EVER do my homework for ANY of my classes. Meanwhile, i do remember being up last night doing something for skool, whats it called... oh yeah... HOMEWORK!! I went to extra help on monday of last week for math, I'm scheduled to go in for midterm review in US History on SATURDAY so that i have a somewhat fighting chance in understanding what the fuck is going on. I dont get why I'm being yelled at for this for, when i tell my guidance conselor "im not understanding this teacher when he teaches, nor when he explains this shit to me" they say, "oh.. yeah.. mr.carey is like tha sometimes" SO NO ONE'S GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!? FUCK SKOOL FUCK EVERYTHING, FUCK YOU.

I'm now once again asking myself, why do I continue to wake up in the morning!? My day's of happiness are only gonna amount to the same fucking thing in the end. Me being unhappy in more ways than one. Theres nothing that can make me happy at this point and now im willing to give up everything i have in my life just to be left alone. My mom threatens to take the band away from me, GO AHEAD, see what that amounts to in the end. I'm sick of everytihng.

I'm Out.

1 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

[12 Jan 2004|09:15pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

Good. You know your music. You should be able to
work at Championship Vinyl with Rob, Dick and

Do You Know Your Music (Sorry MTV Generation I Doubt You Can Handle This One)
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm gonna take you down

MeLtInG SnOmAn!! [12 Jan 2004|06:47pm]
[ mood | naughty ]

hehe jenni's sooo cute

I figured out how to put the heat on in the Ghetto-mobile!

hehe, so yeah, jus the pic and an update on the car. And now,

I'm Out.

6 watched you drown| I'm gonna take you down

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]